One of my all-time favorite stories in the history of rock is the one involving Les Claypool auditioning for Metallica. Metallica’s original bass player, Cliff Burton, died suddenly and tragically in 1986 and Claypool showed up for an audition after Metallica lead guitarist and friend Kirk Hammett suggested that he try out.
For those of you don’t know who Les Claypool is, or who are not familiar with the band he would later form, Primus, Claypool is the freakishly talented bass player and singer who did the theme song and music for South Park. (And he’s also kind of freaky-looking too: he looks like the lovechild of Frank Zappa and Trent Reznor, but with the facial elasticity of Red Skelton.) Claypool is to the bass guitar what Hendrix is to the electric guitar; both possess an otherworldly control of their instrument, the difference being that Hendrix’s persona is drenched in mysticism and catharsis while Claypool’s is defined in part by absurdity and novelty. Les is the perfect musician to be affiliated with South Park, as both can very easily be dismissed as absurd on the surface by many, but have genuinely complex centers that are easily recognizable by those who have the patience to wait and look for it. One minute, South Park is about Santa vs. Jesus or fish sticks or Tom Cruise’s sexual preference—the next minute it can produce some of the best satire and social commentary in recent memory.[1] In the same vain, Primus will record a song called “Wynona’s Big Brown Beaver” or an album called Sailing the Seas of Cheese and it will probably sound ridiculous. But Les Claypool will make your jaw drop with the way he plays bass.
And so Claypool shows up at the audition for Metallica and asks, in an attempt to lighten the mood, if they want to jam on some Isley Brothers songs. There is no conceivable way that Metallica will take him into their band—at this point, Metallica is probably the hardest band in America alongside Slayer and Megadeth, how could they possibly incorporate this… this guy?! It would be like Glenn Beck interviewing for Anna Wintour’s job at Vogue when she leaves the company.
Claypool’s audition is one of my favorite stories in rock history because it is equal parts absurdity and reality. We are all ingrained with the idea since childhood that the best people, the best talent, should always be sought after and chosen when it come to the hiring process for a job. But then we grow up and we find that that logic is oftentimes selective: the guy or girl with the tattoos on their arm will probably not be promoted to his or her highest slot, regardless of how much they know about the internal workings of the company; nepotism occurs, usually for the worst reasons; etc. And so the absurdity of Claypool’s demeanor and look canceled out the reality of his talent. It happens. Metallica would’ve become a much different band if Claypool was standing on the stage with them during their tour after …And Justice For All was released so you can’t really blame James Hetfield for wanting to take a pass.
After a name change and some lineup changes and a temporary disbanding, followed by a reforming of the band, Claypool, Larry LaLonde (lead guitar), and Tim “Herb” Alexander (drums), became the official Primus lineup for the first few releases. Sailing the Seas of Cheese was their major label debut and it featured “Jerry Was a Race Car Driver,” a song that has not aged one bit in the 20 years since it was released. Its thrash funk-ness is still an absolute joy to behold. Claypool’s bass guitar is still dizzying and mesmerizing, and the way he sings this song with an exaggerated truck stop redneck accent is ironic, yes, but also, oddly, appropriate. (Can you imagine this song being sung normally? It would feel way off if it were sung straight.) I remember the first time I heard this song and just taking for granted that Claypool’s opening bass riffs were an electric guitar that was being modified post-production or being played on a strangely-tuned guitar. It wasn’t until the fifth or sixth listen that I realized that Primus was a three-person band and that the bass guitar is the foreground guitar.
I can’t really fault anyone who is not a fan of Primus to want to write off their catalog as novelty, to make the same face as a confused dog when hearing some of their songs, and/or to have the same kind of “you’re amazing; thanks, but no thanks” kind of reaction that Metallica had during Claypool’s audition. But to revisit the aforementioned notion we are taught when we’re younger, that people who have the most amount of talent deserve to be praised and promoted: “Jerry Was a Race Car Driver” by itself is an amazing song, and one that will probably be accessible to people who have never heard of or do not like Primus, and then when you factor in its technical merits (the jaw-dropping communion of all three musicians during the solo after Go! is shouted quickly at the midpoint of the track) this is one of the best songs of the early ’90s.
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[1] Hello, episode in which Jimmy berates cheaters and PED users at the Special Olympics while Mark McGwire, Sammy Sosa, and Barry Bonds stand near the podium smiling silently. Just to name one episode.
