George W. Bush famously referred to himself as the Decider. Allow me to (temporarily) emulate his ability to fashion bizarre nomenclature and self-appoint myself as the Convincer. Whether it be here on this site—or on this site, or on this site, my singular goal is to get you, the reader (however briefly it may be), to care for the subject matter that I am writing about. In a perfect world, I would want you to read about Here Come The Warm Jets and decide to buy it based on my review of it.
So, why am I starting this post off with a George W. Bush reference and a recap of the writer-reader relationship?
Because I feel as though I am going to have a hard time convincing you to care about “Then He Kissed Me,” the ultra-girly, ’50′s-sounding hit by The Crystals. Or at least to care about it enough to believe that it should be a no-brainer entrant into the Pantheon.
Some reasons why you may not care about this song: the modern feminist in you will believe the lyrics to be a microcosm of an unworthy and outdated era and that the song should be seen as nothing more than a pointless trinket, something not worthy of a garage sale—let alone a discussion of any perceived merits; the modern consumer in you with its inherent modern tastes will believe every facet of this song to be so outdated that it transcends Oldie status; even the part of you that always attempts to give everything a chance[1] might think that this song is too… whatever could transcend Norman Rockwell or Donna Reed.
If any or all of the above applies to you please set it aside temporarily so that I can tell you why this song matters. Simply put, this is one of the best pop songs ever written, and it is one of the best pop songs ever written because it sounds so dated. It encapsulates its era so perfectly that no future pop song about love or relationships can come close to quantifying its own era. “Then He Kissed Me” is the auditory equivalent of a diner or a ’57 Chevy: you still see them around today from time to time, but you will never have the feelings you want to have about them (yet you still consciously know that there is a timeless aspect to all of them).
Pop songs about relationships (typically) mean the most to us when we are kids. They are most likely the songs that are playing at your first dance, or maybe even during your first kiss (or somehow make up a soundtrack for your first boyfriends or girlfriends). These are the type of songs that will always mean something to you. But what about the songs that reach out to almost everyone? “Then He Kissed Me” reached #2 on the U.S. singles charts in 1963, which assumes that it was quite popular. It assumes that a lot of girls liked/loved this song.
This is not to say that popularity is everything. You could make the argument that “Chasing Cars” by Snow Patrol—in some way—defines the ’00′s in terms of love-themed pop songs. In terms of popularity, it charted in the top five of almost every significant Billboard list. But thirty years from now, will it represent any feeling about the decade? Or will it represent an assortment of personal feelings amongst a large swath of people? I have no idea. What I think I can say with a fair amount of certainty is that “Then He Kissed Me” will always outlive songs like “Chasing Cars” because it is simple and more direct. “I didn’t know just what to do/So I whispered ‘I love you’/And he said that he loved me too/And then he kissed me” will always beat out “Let’s waste time/Chasing cars/Around our heads/I need your grace/To remind me/To find my own.”[2]
Again, you may never be able to like “Then He Kissed Me.” But the indelible guitar intro, the flowing symphonic music, the overly Utopian lyrics: they are not just things that have the ability to conjure cynical thoughts in our modern heads—they make up a sizable chunk of the foundation for all pop love songs that came after it.[3]
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[1] This is the same part of your brain that wanted to believe that Norah Jones’ latest album might be good, that Avatar might be more than just amazing CGI effects, and that, based on his campaign, Barack Obama really was going to fundamentally change this country.
[2] I am not picking on “Chasing Cars,” just using it to make the point. I think the song is pretty solid musically.
[3] And with that, the Convincer has spoken.
